Excerpted from a handout given me by an Anchorage librarian a while back.
No one ever had to check into the Betty Ford Clinic for reading too much.
Nobody ever read too many books and then jumped off a building, walked through a plate-glass window, or mooned a cop.
You don’t have to flush all your books down the toilet when there’s an unexpected knock at the door.
It is extremely rare that anyone gets gunned to death in a book dispute.
Your friends won’t desert you when you run out of books.
You can read all you want it won’t show up on a urine test.
If you miss reading one day, you won’t go into painful withdrawal. [Dana sez: "Sez you."]
No matter how many books you have, you can’t be charged with ‘intent to distribute.’
Whereas there are bad books, you can just put the book down but escaping from a bad trip is somewhat more problematical.
Yup. Strike number 12. Reading deprivation is dangerous. If prolonged, the victim can begin consuming TV and, if this is not treated with the immediate administration of reading material, it can develop into full-blown vidiocy.
How about “intent to hoard”?
Being a bookseller, I definitely intend to distribute.
I’m definitely guilty of hoarding and distributing, Jennifer and Acia, never mind intent. Love “vidiocy,” Ann, and Penny, what you said.